Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
