I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
