I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
