I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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