Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
