I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Damn victory sex feels great
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
