I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
