i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
