yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize