i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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