why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
