if you like me you must not know who I am
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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