Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
