i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
50% drunk capacity currently
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
