He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
