ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this boner is exhausting
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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