So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
