is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
