But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
