She's JV to your varsity
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The air was thick with penises
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
