my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
