But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
