Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
