K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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