no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she looked like the before picture.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
