I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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