Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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