Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
