I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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