u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
