i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
