His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
