these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
