I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
