So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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