U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
