i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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