I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
