ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
