Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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