I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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