Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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