I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
