Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
