so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
