"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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