if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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