I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
