we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
