At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
