Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
