I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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