You're so nebulous sometimes
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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