i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Houston, we have a blender
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
