i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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