His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
