you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
