Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
