its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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